What's the advantage of delaying marriage and child-bearing
People naturally have more energy to take care of children when they're
younger. The longer they wait, the more likely they are to not wanna have
children when they're older. My mom knows a friend at work who is 44 YEARS
OLD, the she is just getting married for the FIRST TIME. Her kids will be
born right around the time that they should have been graduating from HIGH
SCHOOL! Can you imagine how much energy that is going to take out of her?
She will be going grey with little kids running around the house saying ''Mommy, mommy, l need this!'' and ''Mommy, mommy, l need that!'' Plus, she focused so much on her career, that she will have double the responsibility ... she waited until the peak of her career (at a time when her health is starting to decline and her work-related responsibilities are the greatest) to have kids.Some women say that having kids when their older is good for their career.Why?It is just going to be harder in every way imaginable later on.Help me understand this.
Its better if u do things at rite time n rite age. V shud not
go against the nature. Nature takes care of everything then.If u r young
you wil take good care of children/husband/work etc. Its but natural. If u
r old, its surely going to take too much of energy out of you n u end up
being unsuccessful.
RITE TIME + RITE AGE = RITE ''YOU''
these three are the most important factors it seems to having
children late in life ..money= just the two of you..able to put away $$
for later in life maturity= i have seen what happens to those persons who
marry too early (OR) **Have to get married** because they got caught up in
the heat of the moment.. stable relationship= those that wait for children
have more time to get to know each other & find ways to settle dfference
is without ***blowing up*** at each other..***which when a child see is this happen it scares them*** Side note to ALL ADULTS.children DO FEEL the stress that their parents & or older sibblings have!!!!!.so if they all the sudden act out. take a step back & ask yourself..how can i rid myself of this stress.and let child know that you may need some space..and then when you calm down..try to get child to speak about their feelings.YOU MAY BE SURPRISED on how close they hit the MARK!!!!!!!
The advantage of delaying marriage & child-bearing, ideally, is
to get established financially. Another advantage is to allow time for
personal growth without the responsibility of a relationship.
There is freedom to participate in social events without the need of
searching for a babysitter. Delaying marriage & child bearing also affords
one the luxury of resting at will without the responsibility of waking up before rest is complete. Usually, people with such a plan commit to a healthy lifestyle taking into consideration the course of nature & the demand on time to care for a family. There are physically fit 60something-year-olds who can run rings around people in their 30s. To help you understand this, try not to measure an older woman is ability to give quality care to her children based on the inability you see when you imagine yourself in that situation.
Off the top of my head:
1) We don't really mature when we think we do (i.e., around 18);
2) You really do get wiser & more patient with age;
3) You have more money & children are very expensive to just feed &
clothe, not to mention other necessaries;
4) Travel, educate yourself, get well established in ur career, then, when the kids come, you won't feel like you are missing anything, you will be doing exactly what you want to do; 5) Having kids young & expecting to enjoy life after they are grown & you are in ur 40s is a great idea, but it doesn't always work out. Some people hit 40 & find that health & wealth are not there for them to ''enjoy'' so they end up having put off fun in their youth to just do the same after the kids because they aren't healthy enought to do the fun stuff anymore; 6) Options increase when you are older: I get to work at home about 40 hrs a month (yep, that is right) & earn as much as some people who work 40 hrs a week in middle management - an established career helped me do that so I can stay home & raise my kids & work on my schedule; 7) Not everyone has trouble conceiving. I had my first at 35 & it took me 4 months to get pregnant; second at 37 took me 2 months; 8) When you decide to have kids later on you know exactly what you are getting into & both partners are thrilled to contribute & be a part of every moment - i.e., no one wishes they were out partying instead of taking care of ur kids (not that date nights are not fun). Yes, there are some benefits to youth, but age has a heck of a lot more.
I am an older mother myself. I delayed both marriage &
pregnancy. It is not just financial stability, it is also emotional
stability which usually comes with maturity. Younger mothers sure as hell
don't have a corner on the energy market. I've seen plenty of exahusted,
frazzled young moms & I am the Eveready bunny. So what if the mom is hair
is going gray? This is irrelevant. Older mothers tend to be more focused,
more grounded, more organized, there is a tendency to be better educated with a higher income & older moms can often afford to hire extra help. How can you predict that any older mother will be more focused on her career than her children? How would you now? As far as how having kids is good for the career, I can not answer for every one but having a child at my age & being solely responsible for him has motivated me to change careers & to continue to enhance my chosen profession. I balance career & child & my child is autistic, I am divorced & I even went back to school. I know that I could not have done this had I been in my 20s. Oh, my dear girl, yes, it can be done & done well.
Well, my hubby & I waited 10 years before we had our first
baby, simply because we enjoyed one another is friendship. I think it is
important to build a solid relationship with ur spouse before jumping into
parenthood. It is enough of a strain to be a parent if you DO have a good
& loving marraige. I can only imagine what it might be like if you don't.
We are both 35. My husband will be 36 in a couple of days. We have a
beautiful 5 year old daughter & a cute little smiley 9 month old son. We wouldn't take anything in the world for our babies, & if we had to do it all over agian, we wouldn't change a thing. We are both well aware of the fact that when our kids are grown & gone, we will be old. We also know that we will once again be alone together. We are also aware that we will still love eachother very much at that time, & are looking very forward to time alone together once again. We've actually started debating over whether or not to have another one! ;^)
There are a lot of advantages to waiting to have kids. I
personally don't plan on waiting until I am 44, but I am 29 now and in no
rush. I just got married this year, and we just got our first
house.basically I want to be financially stable, and feel somewhat
prepared for all of the responsibility that comes with having kids. I
wasn't ready to settle down in my early, or even mid-twenties. I think
this is pretty common now.
Its all about money. There is a better chance that you will be
able to live the lifestyle you want and have kids if you wait until you are
older and more financially stable.
I want to get married and have kids but I am probably going to wait until
I am like 35-40. It just makes more sense, at least for guys. For women
it is a different story b/c they have to start worrying about infertility as they near their late 30's. Guys really don't have to worry as much about that.
One of the determinate that a child will have a successful
life, money liking his job, happy marriage and so forth is the age of the
mother. If they are born after their mother is 30 there is a greater
percent chance of that happening.
very good question, what if she couldnt find someone to merry
her thats why she waited so long maybe
I don't think there are any reasons to wait that aren't
selfish. People think that children are going to get in the way of their
goals, or playtime. I agree with you, I think it is better to have them
when you're young and you can enjoy them. Then you still have plenty of
time to play when they get older, and you can enjoy your grandchildren.
Most of us have a bit more wisdom & patents when we get older.
We also have more money! ( Money is good for raising kids) WE might not
get as stressed out, & have the experience of our friends & know some of
the trouble.
Having kids young has advantages in that they are grown, & we are still
young enough to have fun & enjoy life. Financially it is more of a struggle, but things work out. I had my son at age 22. I was a grandfather at age 42. Now I have a 12 year old grandson, & that is really great!
there is none. u ll be looking like a grabdad when ur kid is in
school and cant do anything
Don't delay them forever, just until you are most able to raise
them. That is not just energy, but also financial and emotional stability
that comes with a little maturity.
She will not be able to bear children. I know there are lots of
44+ yr old women that have children, but statistically it is RARE. The FACT
is that after the age of 30, the odds that a woman will EVER be able to
bear children drops significantly. If I had to place a wager on whether or
not this woman will have children I would put my money on NO.
My advice to all the young girls reading this is to think about these FACTS carefully. Don't get brainwashed into thinking that having children means ur life is over. That is stupid. You will want to kill yourself when you are 33 if ur doctor tells you that you missed ur window of opportunity to do the one thing that REALLY matters in life.
sanity
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